Discerning Mr/Mrs Right-Part 1

Dear Reader,

Welcome to this great month of December! This month, I believe that God will make good all His promises in your life and family in Jesus’ name! This week, we shall be examining How to Discern Effortlessly Who Your Mr/Mrs Right Is.

The subject of courtship and marriage can never be exhausted. Everywhere we turn, men and women are on a mission to find or be found by their future spouses. However, half the time, they do not really know what they are looking for. Each person uses a different set of criteria to determine if a person is right for them or not. Many times, I have found out that the picture many people have of their future spouses is tainted due to the different forms of media outlets out there, and some men and women don’t have a mature mindset.

Some people have decided to accept proposals or begin a relationship based on the physical appearance or status of the person. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to marry a handsome man or a beautiful lady, but that is not the ultimate. The picture of what and how a wife and husband should be is very clear in the Scripture.

It is always important to remember that God is good, and He wants only good for you. He created marriage for your upliftment. The Word says: Marriage is honourable in all… (Hebrews 13:4). That is what any husband and wife should be experiencing in their marriage, but that will only happen if the right steps are taken.

Furthermore, before starting a relationship with a potential spouse, there are a number of things you should know, and they will be beneficial for you. This is to avoid unnecessary heartache in the future. For men, certain things should be a “must-have” in your future wife, and the same goes for women. I have underlined a few “must-haves” for both parties, which I believe will help in taking the right step towards finding your Mr/Mrs right. The number one requirement is that any potential spouse MUST be born again and genuinely work out their own salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12). This will truly determine if the list below will fall in line. Please note that this is not a full list, and they are in no particular order. However, I have picked the ones that are necessary for anyone who desires a successful marriage.

As a Woman, These Three Must be Found in Your Future Husband:

• Vision: A man may not have anything, but he must have a vision. He must have a very clear vision, and with that, you can be rest assured he is destined for great things. The vision is not only for his assignment; he should also have a vision for his future family. So, find out and listen attentively. Many women only hear, but they don’t listen, and shortly in the future, they become a terror, claiming he never said this or that. Therefore, ask him questions so you can have a picture of what the future may hold for both of you.

• Leadership: Does he have the ability to lead you and your family right? How is he when it comes to making decisions? Does he prolong it, or is he indecisive? That is not a good sign of a good leader. He should be willing to make a decision and stand by it, and if it is a mistake, he should be willing and ready to admit it and apologise.

Note that as a good leader, he should also be confident. Confidence is being free from doubt and having belief in oneself and abilities. This must be watched critically because many women are not confident in their husbands and their leadership abilities. That is why when their husbands make a decision, they start fussing and nagging about it, wanting to have their own say. That is foolishness! If he is confident, your confidence in him is automatically in place. If he is confident, it will not be a challenge following him.

• Love: According to Ephesians 5:21, the primary responsibility of husbands is to love their wives. You must be able to tell if a man loves you even before you are married. Simple acts of love, like giving, are a pointer. I am in no way insinuating that men should be giving gifts all the time. NO! Giving and loving are required of both parties, but it is the most important duty of the man.

In the latter part of (Ephesians 5), it is also his responsibility to bring out the best in you as Christ is to the church. So if you tell him some things, and he is not encouraging or uplifting, that should tell you what your marriage will be like in that regard. Therefore, watch this critically!

However, to gain access to God’s Word for a picture of what and how your spouse should be, you must be born again. So, if you have not accepted Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, please say this prayer: Dear Lord, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins.  Cleanse me with Your Precious Blood. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Now, I know I am born again!

Congratulations, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave or forsake you. With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace, in Jesus’ name! Please write or call to share your testimonies with me through oyedepofaitha@gmail.com OR 08141320204.

For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Single with A Difference, Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Family and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo).