The Power of Family Unity– Part 2

Dear Readers,

Welcome to the concluding part of this teaching. I believe you now understand better that unity in the family is crucial to the success of your family. This week, we shall examine The Power of Forgiveness in fostering Unity in the Family.

According to the dictionary, forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offence, letting go of negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance and with an increased ability to wish the offender well. The Word says: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32). Many are filled with anger, bitterness, resentment, hate and vengeance towards others; their spouse and children inclusive. They believe they cannot just let go of an issue without retaliation. Please understand that retaliation is not a virtue; it is outrightly wrong and unhealthy. Although some have been taught that forgiveness is cowardly, this is not true. However, we must understand that it takes forgiving others to receive forgiveness from God. The Word says: For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you (Mathew 6:14). Unforgiveness has hindered family unity and answered prayers in many homes.

However, we must understand that the price for vengeance is severe, and the end result of unforgiveness is extremely high. It is not worth it. Concerning the parable in Matthew 18:23-35 of a man who was owing 10,000 talents, he begged his creditor to be patient with him till he was able to pay back the money owed, and his creditor forgave him the debt. But this same man saw a fellow servant who was owing him only 100 pence and refused to forgive him but threw the man into prison. As a result of his unforgiveness, he was classified as being wicked. Unforgiveness is wickedness! An unforgiving wife, husband or child is a wicked person. Do you want to be identified with the wicked?

Unforgiveness Incures God’s Anger on the Perpetrator: Let go of unforgiveness so God won’t be angry with you. Unforgiveness also brings torment. That wicked servant was delivered to the tormentors to be tortured in order to pay off his original debt. Unforgiveness and bitterness torment. As a result of unforgiveness, afflictions such as poverty, barrenness, sickness and the like in marriage are from the tormentors. Unforgiveness opens the door to the tormentors of life. The servant never enjoyed his master’s forgiveness. In the same way, embittered people never enjoy forgiveness from God because what you sow is what you reap (Genesis 8: 22). What a price!

Unforgiveness imprisons people to the past: A husband unwilling to forgive his wife will continue to keep the offence alive and vice versa. The pain is there; you are picking at an open sore and keeping it from healing. When you do not forgive, you are daily sentencing yourself to go through life feeling as bad now as you did in the past when the offence was committed with no end in sight. You have chosen to embrace hate and cultivate it throughout your life. Unforgiveness imprisons you in the pain of your past. So refuse to be a slave to your past! You may have been terribly hurt by your spouse, child or extended family, but the Bible admonishes us to forgive. God will not tell us to do what is impossible to be done. The Bible says: Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice (Ephesians 4:31). So, forgive all family members that have offended you so you can live a peaceful and burden-free life.

Please forgive whosoever has offended you. Don’t wait for the person to come and apologise to you because they might not. Learn the secret of instant forgiveness. That is, forgive as soon as you are offended, whether the offender asks for it or not. In Matthew 18:21-22, Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone, and He said: …how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Peter thinks he is being pretty generous. Jesus responds by saying you should forgive someone seventy times seven. This connotes no limit to forgiveness.

This is one of the secrets of success in marriage and family life. Wherever envy and strife are, there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16). Many have lost their homes and marriages to bitterness; you don’t have to join them. This principle of instant forgiveness has helped me a great deal. My husband and I practise it; it has paid off for us. It pays to forgive!

The testimony below will inspire you:

I got married 26 years ago, but a year later, my husband left me for another woman. In fact, he gave me a letter of divorce, but I did not accept it. I tried all possible ways to dissuade him from his plans but failed. It was not easy at all. Everything around me kept saying it was over, but my spirit believed reconciliation was on the way. Since I saw it, I kept my focus without wavering. I never stopped praying and thanking God for the restoration I was seeing.

In February 2004, he called and told me if I died before him, he would bury me as his wife. He also said if he died first, I should know he died as my husband, but coming together would not be possible again. He admitted making some mistakes, emphasising he was prepared to live with them for the rest of his life.

This statement gave me a prayer point. I told God to please help remove the sense of guilt from him, as I have forgiven him. A year after he spoke those terrible words to me, he returned home. The first thing he said was he had given his life to Christ. He said he wanted reconciliation because he now knows divorce is not God’s will.

We prayed together, and the 26 years of separation was terminated. Now, our home is blissful, and the favour of God is thick around us! Praise be to His name forever – Mrs. Manya M.

This woman made a choice to refuse offence and bitterness and even kept praying for her husband until not only did God save his soul, her home was also reunited blissfully after 26 years. You are next in line for a testimony!

However, to walk in forgiveness, you need God at the center of your home.  If you are not born-again, please say this prayer of faith: Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner, and I cannot help myself. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Precious Blood. Deliver me

from sin and satan to serve the Living God. From today, Lord Jesus, I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You Jesus for saving me! Now, I am Born-again.

Congratulations! You are now born-again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave or forsake you. With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace, in Jesus’ name! Please write or call to share your testimonies with me through oyedepofaitha@gmail.com OR 08141320204 and 07026385437.

For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Building a Successful Family,Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Success in Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo), Success Strategies (Bishop David Oyedepo), and The Wisdom that Works (Bishop David Oyedepo).