The Power of Intimacy in Marriage-2
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the concluding part of this edition. I strongly believe that your intimacy has taken a new dimension with your spouse via the knowledge you got from the previous edition. This week, we shall be examining Characteristics of Intimacy.
Characteristics of Intimacy:
Companionship. Every man is created to crave constant fellowship. It is one major motivating factor that draws two people of the opposite sex together. After creation, the only thing God called “Not good” was man’s loneliness (Genesis 2:18). Among others, it is discovered that loneliness is one of the causes of mental retardation and irregular behaviour in many people. True companionship is what makes marriage meaningful. Spouses are not meant to be roommates but the closest of friends. The Word says: Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend (Proverbs 27:17). It is unfortunate that many couples are missing out on this wonderful aspect of marriage. They live under the same roof, yet, they are more or less strangers. Such marriages are empty, and with time, their frustrations will lead to divorce. This is not the will of God; He expects us to have sweet communion, not only with Him but also with our partners.
Mutual trust. This builds a sense of security for both spouses. As couples, you must be deliberate about this. Though sometimes, you might unintentionally cause hurt to your spouse, and it must not be done on purpose. In a practical sense, trust means you place confidence in someone to be honest with and faithful to you, not abandon you. Trust is not a gift; it is a virtue built through experience and over a period of time. Trust is reciprocal. Therefore, the more you express your trust to your spouse, the more he/she responds to you. By this, you are creating an avenue for intimacy to grow.
Tenderness and Care. This includes gentle expressions of care. Through touch, you can express your love to your partner. This affectionate contact is absolutely essential in building the emotion of love.
Acceptance. This is unconditional approval in a relationship. No one is perfect, but acceptance means not holding weaknesses against one another. If you find yourself frequently pointing out your spouse’s faults, then work on focusing on the qualities you fell in love with.
Open communication. This is the ability to discuss anything with your spouse. It includes sincere expression of thoughts and feelings as well as careful listening. Signs of poor communication include feeling reluctant to tell your spouse about the events of your day or being unwilling to listen when your spouse is explaining how he or she feels.
Forgiveness. This is the process of letting go of anger, desire for revenge and obsessive thinking about the times your spouse has hurt you. It includes giving your spouse permission to have weaknesses, make mistakes and change. Seeing the goodness and strengths of your spouse, including his/her weaknesses can open up emotional space for goodwill to build toward your spouse. Forgiveness does not automatically create trust or reconciliation; it does not mean your approval of bad behaviour. But it is an important early step towards rebuilding a fractured relationship.
The grace to give it all it takes to build up intimacy in your marriage can only be given to you by God. If you are not born again, please say this prayer of faith: Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner, and I cannot help myself. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Precious Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the Living God. From today, Lord Jesus, I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You Jesus for saving me! Now, I am Born Again.
Congratulations! You are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave or forsake you. With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace, in Jesus’ name! Please write or call to share your testimonies with me through oyedepofaitha@gmail.com OR 08141320204 and 07026385437.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Building a Successful Family, Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Success in Marriage (Co-Authored with Bishop David Oyedepo) and Covenant Pathways to Hitch-free Marriage