Welcome to the concluding part of this teaching. Last week I examined the subject of communication and its effectiveness in the home. I have established the fact that communication is a vital factor in improving your relationship, not only with your spouse but with other members of your household. This week, I shall be examining ‘Communication Blocks’.
While defining communication, I said it is the passing across of information between two persons. So communication blocks are the things that you do, either through your words or actions, that prevent you from connecting at a deeper level with someone else.
To have a telephone line connected to your house, you will first need to go to the agency responsible and apply for it. The moment you are connected, you can freely pick up your receiver and dial any number of your choice. However, you can only call someone who is also connected. it is the same in our relationship with God; He expects us to keep our communication lines open in form of relating to Him in prayer. He said in Jeremiah 33:3: Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. But if the line is blocked, there will be no response and it can be frustrating. Also, if you block your communication line with your spouse, thereby making it impossible to access you, you will be digging a big grave. Your home and marriage will not end up in the grave in Jesus’ name!
Therefore, you must avoid the following Communication Blocks:
- If you roll your eyes and look exasperated or resigned when your husband or wife talks, all you are trying to say is ‘I have heard enough’.
- When you sigh loudly and deeply when your mate is sharing an opinion, it means, ‘I am not in agreement’.
- When you look at the clock or your watch repeatedly during a conversation, it implies ‘You are wasting my time with your conversation’.
- When you don’t stop whatever you are doing when your partner wants to have a serious conversation with you, it means ‘What I am doing is much more important than you’.
- When you don’t make eye contact and give your spouse your complete attention, then you want him/her to know that ‘You are just forcing me to be here, I have other things to do’.
- When you use the time your spouse is speaking to think about things unrelated to what he or she is saying, all you simply want is for him/her to leave you to your own world.
These are great communication blocks that have shattered many homes and marriages today. You could probably develop these attitudes because of what might have happened in the past. But I want you to understand that this will further cause your home to disintegrate.
How to Avoid Communication Breakdown?
The Bible says: Go through, go through the gates! Prepare the way for the people. Cast up, cast up the highway! Gather out the stones. Lift up a standard or ensign over and for the peoples (Isaiah 62:10 AMP). There is a highway that is already prepared for your marriage, you must gather out the stones so that your path can be smooth. There is an adage that says, ‘Prevention is better than cure’. Therefore, as I go through these preventive measures, I see God multiplying His grace upon you!
What are the Preventive Measures for Communication Breakdown?
- Avoid Argument. Argument is defined as a process of disagreement with an idea. Whatever is the case, in the process of communication, never allow it to degenerate into an argument. If you do, you are opening the door to the devil. For many people, winning an argument is more important than winning the hearts of their spouses. But as a wise man once said, ‘The more arguments you win, the farther apart from each other you become’. The most important thing is to realise that there are always two sides to an issue. Whatever the opinion or perspective of your spouse is, you must remember that we are all entitled to our own opinions.
Furthermore, if for any reason you sense that an argument is about to ensue, leave the matter till another time. Communicate your opinion to your Heavenly Father in prayer and ask for the right words, correct timing and approach to bring up the issue. But never quarrel! The Bible says: He that handleth a matter wisely shall find good: and whoso trusteth in the LORD, happy is he (Proverbs 16:20). If your conversation always ends in an argument, a gulf is being created between both of you. If it is not handled on time, it can totally separate you.
- Avoid Bottling Up. Sweeping issues under the carpet is as dangerous as a green snake under the green grass. When grievances are not aired, an explosion is inevitable someday. When a bottle of Coca-Cola is shaken repeatedly over a period of time, it bursts open. So many couples have burst out in anger and behaved unexpectedly. Therefore, it becomes very important for couples to ensure that nothing comes between them. The Bible says: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil (Ephesians 4:26-27).
To enjoy effective communication in your home, you must first build a personal relationship with God, and building a personal relationship with God begins at salvation. So, if you are not born again, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today acknowledging that I am a sinner who needs Your forgiveness. I believe You died for me and rose again on the third day. Forgive me my sins, wash me with Your Blood and write my name in the Book of life. Thank You Lord for saving me.
Congratulations,you are now born-again! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21). With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Please write or call to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).