Peace and blessings, in Jesus name! Writing you the will of God concerning your life has been my uttermost joy and a privilege from God. Therefore, I will be sharing some vital tips that will help you have an exciting family as God has ordained. In this new , we shall focus on ‘Keeping The Communication Lines Open’.
Communication is very vital in marriage. You will not enjoy your marriage if you and your spouse do not know how to communicate effectively; it will be like having gold in a garden but not knowing how to dig it out. The gold is there, but you cannot be enriched by it if it is not dug out. The basis of any fruitful and lasting relationship is effective communication. God our Father and ultimate example proved this to us by communicating His plans and intentions to those He trusted. He spoke clearly to Moses, Samuel, David, right through to Jesus and beyond Him, to those of us who love and serve Him. Therefore, marriage without effective communication never works. A wise man once said, ‘If you talk together, you stay together’ — and it is true.
In times past, particularly in the African society, women were regarded as mere objects and a part of a man’s possessions; they were not consulted on major issues, neither were their views regarded as important. In those days, women stayed married because they had no choice. But that has never been God’s arrangement; He made marriage an avenue for both husband and wife to find fulfilment, and fulfilment comes when there is effective communication. Communication is one of the most important keys to excitement in marriage. Before marriage, couples often find themselves talking a lot —but this soon diminishes after the wedding day. However, communication must continue throughout the marriage. Couples must continue to learn from one another, taking time to share their thoughts and feelings. Most marriages fail because of lack of or wrong communication. Seemingly, the only type of dialogue in many marriages is arguing and fighting. This is not communication! Nothing productive ever comes from these, and they should be avoided at all costs. If the discussion escalates, both must make it a point to apologise immediately. Husbands and wives should speak pleasantly to each other. Husbands should be extra careful of their tone, as wives can be sensitive in this manner. Depending on the tone, a question can be taken very differently, which could lead to unnecessary misunderstandings.
Hence, for the marriage to move forward in unity, productivity and harmony, both must know what the other is thinking. Issues should never remain bottled up. Each should take the time to listen, attempting to discern each other’s needs and concerns. Sincere compliments should also be a part of regular communication. For instance, when you want to have a telephone line connected to your house, you first go to the agency responsible and apply for the same. You are asked to buy a box to enable you receive calls and call out, and a number is given to you. The moment you are connected, you can freely pick up your receiver and dial any number of your choice. However, you can only call someone who is also connected. But that is not the end of the road yet; the other party must answer the phone call before any meaningful conversation can take place. Likewise, communication in marriage involves more than passing across a feeling, thought, message or desire. It also involves how a thing is said and when it is said.
In marriage, the long word ‘communication’ is broken down to ‘communion’, which means ‘sharing thoughts and feelings’. Breaking the word ‘communion’ further, the word ‘commune’ evolves. To commune means to ‘speak together as close friends’. Every time there is a breakdown in communication, what follows is not always pleasant. My husband once said that poor communication is the reason behind brutality in many Christian marriages today. A lot of things are done on assumption, so frustrations are inevitable. There must be effective communication between family members as a whole for frustration to be avoided.
However, effective communication begins with your relationship with God. To be able to communicate with God, you must be born again and to be born again means confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God, and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave or forsake you. With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace, in Jesus name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org OR 08141320204. For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores, Making Marriage Work, Marriage Covenant and Success in Marriage.