Last time, I started a teaching revealing some Biblical steps to follow in finding a marriage partner. We examined the steps of desire, the use of God’s Word and prayers. Choosing a life-partner is crucial; it is a lifetime decision in which God’s intervention is indispensable. God’s involvement in the matter is via your prayers. Come to Him with an open spirit in prayer, specifically telling Him the kind of partner you want by identifying your God-given vision in life and asking for a partner that will complement that vision “… everyone that asketh receiveth… (Matthew 7:8). Be confident that He loves you HE knows your end form the beginning and wants only the best for you. If you ask in prayers, you will receive. Having prayed about it, give God thanks and relax. Refuse to be anxious, worried, edgy and impatient about the situation. Maintain an absolute trust in God and His Word.
Another important step to take when finding a marriage partner is MAKING YOURSELF FIT FOR MARRIAGE physically, spiritually, materially and mentally. Even though it is true that you would not just want any kind of person for a marriage partner since you would have some uncompromising qualities that you are looking for in a person, you also must make conscious effort to become as good as the type of person you desire. Lester Sumrall, one of God’s great generals and a man married for about half a century, said, “The key to success in marriage is not so much as marrying the right person, but becoming the right person.” Many Christians keep bothering so much about marrying the right person. They keep ‘bombarding’ the gates of Heaven, crying, “Lord, give me a good husband or a good wife.”
Matthew 7:3-5 says: And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Or how wilt thou say to thy brother, Let me pull out the mote out of thine eye; and, behold, a beam is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. How do you suppose that you can remove the spec (or broomstick) in your brother’s eye, when you have a log of wood in your own eye? Which is greater? Is it not when you have taken the log of wood out of your own eye that you can see clearly enough to help your brother remove the broomstick in his eye? In case you have been praying and fasting for the right person, change gear and start praying, “Lord, make me the right person.”
Haven’t you heard it said that birds of the same feather flock together? If you are an unserious Christian, how do you expect that a serious Christian will want to marry you? Even if God showed him in a dream that you are his wife, he will say “No, Sir!” Why? Two cannot walk together except they agree. As you make yourself right, God simply adds to you the blessing of a life partner! Let your heart pant after God and His kingdom. Let God be your focus. Purpose in your heart to be more prayerful, more word addicted, more service minded and you can expect Heaven to send your way a choice young man or young woman!
Remember, like beget like and water seeks its own level. If you desire a pastor as a partner, you also must build yourself up in the things of God. If you desire a financial pillar for the church of Christ as a partner, you must build yourself up to be a worthy compliment. If you want something good, then you too, must consciously work on yourself and become good.
Physical appearances also, matter a lot in finding a partner. It is the first attraction before many other things that end up in the question, ‘will you marry me?’ A wise man once said that the way you dress, determines the way you are addresses. A young man whose general appearance is one of laziness, carelessness, irresponsibility and being unkept at all times, will definitely not attract any single lady’s attention. No woman will welcome any proposal from this kind of man. On the other hand, if you are a woman seeking to marry a gentleman, who’s faithful, handsome, respectable, God-fearing as your knight in shinning armour, then you have to make yourself twice as faithful, respectable, beautiful and God-fearing too! Do unto others as you want them to do unto you…? (Matthew 7:12) and Proverbs 27:12 says: Iron sharpens iron’.
However, in finding a marriage partner, never choose to marry unbeliever no matter the choice, qualities, vision, dream or counsel. You must ensure that your intended partner is BORN AGAIN. HE or she must have accepted Jesus Christ as Lord and Saviour. II Corinthians 6:14-16 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
And what concord hath Christ with Belial? …
The unbeliever is out of consideration in your choice of who to marry. Seek a partner who believes in the same faith as you do and if you are not born again, you can do so right now, as you say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me of my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through email@example.com; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).