Last time, we saw the power of agreement. In this segment, I will be teaching on the Power of Understanding.
God’s Word says: Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established (Proverbs 24:3). Homes are established upon understanding. Understanding enables you to read between the lines; it reads eye movements, voice tones and helps soften the harshness of anger.
When your spouse speaks, his words may be few, but because you understand him very well, he successfully communicates. Abigail is described as a woman with good understanding. She understood the thirst for vengeance in David and effectively communicated with him, as he came against her ill-mannered husband (1 Samuel 25:23-25).
When you understand your husband or wife, less friction is bound to occur. With good understanding of her man, a woman can communicate things she has observed that he does which may not be profitable.
Look at this testimony:
“I have been married for 10 years, and have not enjoyed peace in my home. For me, marriage wasn’t a good institution. Things were just upside down. I had a child in 1993 that died. Apart from that, I experienced series of miscarriages. I had a car, but it packed up. It was as if everything came to a halt.
My husband started coming to Living Faith Church in January 1997. He didn’t ask me to come with him, because I was already attending another Pentecostal church, though there was no peace in my home. The situation became worse and the tension was so high that I asked the Lord what to do. I told my husband, ‘If this is what marriage is all about, let us call it quit.’ He replied, ‘The door is wide open, you can go.’ It was then I sat down and did a rethink.
I came to Living Faith Church and heard Bishop David Oyedepo say, ‘I have been married for many years now and there has not been any concern or problem in my home.’ I said to myself, ‘Is this on this earth or in another planet?’ Somehow, God has done it for me! Now I know I was the problem, not my husband. My husband is a “perfect” gentleman. The Bishop’s wife sometime jokingly says that if there was such thing as another life, she would still choose to marry her husband. I too can joyfully say the same today.” -Neburabo, R.
Many homes have been destroyed because of misunderstanding. The husband misunderstands his wife’s actions and the woman also read meanings into simple statements made by the man. But the Word says: Good Understanding giveth favour… (Proverbs 13:15).
The above scripture shows the vital place of understanding in establishing a home. ‘To establish’ means to “set-up on a permanent basis, make secure or permanent in a certain place.” That means peace, joy, love, favour, etc, can be set-up on a permanent basis in your home. It also means you can secure or make permanent your relationship with your spouse by possessing a good understanding.
The reason there is a lot of misunderstanding in the home (which results into quarrels) is assumption. Your spouse has said something you clearly don’t understand, instead of asking for clarification, you assume she means one thing when actually she means an entirely different thing. When both husband and wife understand themselves, problems are less likely to arise in their home.
My husband says that assumption is the mother of frustration. That means to assume you understand when you are not sure, invariably leads to frustration. That is one reason why so many people are terribly frustrated in the home.
As an individual, I don’t assume anything. When I am not clear on an issue, I look for an opportunity to ask a question and I know when to ask.
As a man, don’t issue instructions without giving your wife adequate room to ask a question or seek clarification. Don’t ignore her or shout at her; rather, spend time to explain until she understands. If Adam had done that, he would have saved himself a lot of trouble.
The grace to understand your spouse is available in God, if you surrender your life to Christ. This is done by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Saviour and Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).