I welcome you once again to another time of enlightening concerning your family life. It is my prayer that as you read through, your family testimony would become and remain colourful in Jesus’ name!
Our main focus this month will be on the importance of our words as it relates to our marriages. I have sub-titled this, “VERBAL COMMUNICATION & THE MARRIAGE COVENANT.”
Dear reader, when it comes to verbal communication in marriage, I would like you to pay attention to what you are about to read, because I believe it would open us to how powerful the words we speak are in the construction of our marital homes. It is my prayer that the Holy Spirit will give you understanding in Jesus name!
1. Words are Seeds
This is a very important point to note. The Bible tells us in Proverbs 18:21 that, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.” That is enough to tell us that words are seeds! How you and I use our words is what determines the harvest we experience in our homes. In your marriage and family, ensure that your words are full of life every time you communicate with your spouse and children. No excuse can ever be good enough as to why you said something that destroyed or brought death to your marriage relationship.
It doesn’t matter if the situation looks dead and gone already, when you begin to speak words of life, that situation would begin to turnaround. Your husband may not be fulfilling his covenant obligations, your marriage may be as good as dead, but you can change all that by using your mouth to sow the right seeds. From today, see your mouth as a seed sower and use it to consciously plant good seeds that would beautifully germinate in your family life.
2. Words are Powerful:
The Bible proves this point very clearly. In Hebrews 11:3, we are told that the worlds were framed by the Word of God. Therefore, words have the power to build up and the power to tear down. Tremendous power lies in the words that we speak. In Job 6:25, we are told: “How forcible are right words.”
For many, the reason their homes are filled with everything contrary to life and peace is because of the words they speak to each other and about each other. Jesus speaking in Mark 11:23 said among other things, “…He shall have whatsoever he saith.”
Speak only words that build and give life to your marriage, your spouse, your children, that situation, etc. Don’t join the pack of people who are constantly belittling their family members or are ever ready for a fight against their spouse. That is a sign of foolishness, because they are tearing down their homes with their own hands. The reason their spouses remain a source of concern is because of what they are saying. Speak only words that build up “about” them and “to” them as well. Don’t say what you see; say what you want. That verse in Mark 11:23 entered into me on a particular day when I heard my husband, Pastor David Oyedepo (Jnr.), during a service say, “Jesus did not say, ‘He shall have whatsoever they saith.’ He did not say, ‘He shall have whatsoever he seeth.’ He said, ‘It is whatsoever he saith.” Therefore, what you say is what you will get.
Please know this: The wrong words will never bring positive results. So, you can’t say the wrong words and wonder why things remain the same or get worse. May the Lord help your understanding! I see every broken down case in your life, being rebuilt by your words in Jesus’ name!
3. Words are Exposing:
Simply put, the words we use reveals a lot about us. Whatever is inside of you and I, is what will come out at one point or another. Jesus speaking in Luke 6:45 said, “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”
Therefore, you cannot say something negative to your spouse or children and then say, “I didn’t mean it.” The truth is you did! Just accept that fact, because if it was not in your heart, it won’t have come out of your mouth. The way to manage what comes out of your mouth is to manage what is in your heart. Therefore, you must fight every contrary thought about your spouse. Keep reminding yourself that you are on the same team and that he/she is not the enemy.
Discipline yourself to build up, and continuously strengthen your spouse at all times with your words. Don’t give in to the temptation of waging war on them, no matter how deserving you think it is. If you are in the habit of saying negative things or not curtailing your mouth, I would like you to receive grace to change. Repent before God today, humble yourself by genuinely apologising to your spouse, and then begin to consciously use the Word of God as your guide.
Fill yourself up with the Word of God and filthy communication would be far from your mouth. Colossians 3:16 says, “Let the Word of God dwell richly in you….” When the Word of God richly dwells in you, nothing contrary to the nature of God will find its way into your heart and ultimately out of your mouth.
It’s my prayer that you have been blessed in this first part of the “Power of Effective Communication.” May the grace to apply what you have received so far, be yours in abundance!
This grace can only be released upon you when you confess your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. That way, you will be saved. If you are ready to be saved, please say this prayer:
Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I am a sinner. I can’t help myself. Forgive me of my sins. From today, I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You Jesus for saving me. Now, I know I am born again.
Congratulations! Till I come your way next time, please call or write to share your testimonies with me through
For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores:
You are blessed forever!