I welcome you to another wonderful time in God’s presence. I see God meet you at the very point of your needs today in Jesus’ name. This month, I will be sharing with you on what I titled, The Place of Forgiveness.
There is no way two people living together will not offend each other. We are not perfect people and we make mistakes. Learning to forgive is one of the most important lessons one must learn, as we grow in our Christian lives. Forgiveness is the basis of our Christian faith. We learn to forgive because we are instructed by God to do so and we also need to be forgiven.
We must always remember that it does not really matter why someone has chosen to hurt us. What really matters is that we recognize that forgiveness is for us. We do not forgive and condone; rather, we release our hearts from the anger and pain that comes when bad things happen to us. Since we are not the judge of the earth, we must leave that part to our Father in Heaven. We must, however, not let the hurts that we experience and the unforgiving spirit rule our lives and hearts. This is because unforgiveness is life-destroying. Many people, right now, are walking around carrying tremendous hurts, anger, feelings of revenge and hatred towards someone, and they cannot let go. If you do not release these feelings in forgiveness, the only person who will be hurt is……. YOU!
Look at this testimony:
“Somebody offended me and I had in turn vowed never to forgive him. However, when I attended the Convention and heard the devastating effect unforgiveness could have in my life, I repented of it. Also, I willingly let go of the person who had hurt me. Mysteriously, a disease I had in my body for some years disappeared and I was totally healed.”
Everyone has offended God at one time or the other. Despite this, He did not cast us away but allowed us to confess our sins and return to Him. There is nothing your spouse has done that cannot be forgiven. Even when you feel betrayed and let down, God’s grace is available to help you put the past behind. Ephesians 4:32 encourages us to be tender hearted, not adamant, ready to forgive even as God has forgiven you.
The first person to apologize to is God. You must go to Him in prayer and admit that you are at fault. Confess your sins of bitterness, hatred, anger, resentment and accept His forgiveness (I John 1:9). You cannot go to God refusing to see your part in the crisis; that’s pride. Even if you cannot really say how you ‘fuelled the fire’, you can still ask for His forgiveness.
Nehemiah did not sin against God. But as he interceded for his people, he admitted to being a part of their errors. He said: …Both I and my father’s house have sinned. We have dealt very corruptly against thee… (Nehemiah 1:6-7).
Secondly, when you consider all that God has forgiven you of, it will be wicked of you to refuse to forgive your spouse.
In marriage, when forgiveness is needed, we must do so wholly and completely so that the marital trust can begin to heal again. Also, the knowledge that we are committed to forgiveness as Christ has given to us, is part of the bond we share to care for each other in marriage. Knowing this in our hearts allows us to be ourselves with each other. Also, it will make you want to become a better person for your partner and your marriage.
The forgiving process can be slow, but it begins by releasing the pain to God and gradually coming to complete forgiveness in your heart. It means putting on the eyes of Jesus and looking straight at the person who has hurt you.
It also means leaving all judgment for others to God. It means trying everyday to leave the anger with God, until one day you notice that your heart has become lighter, your face begins to brighten and you quietly know that with Jesus, you are not alone.
Dear God, I come today with a heavy heart. I have been hurt and I don’t know what to do. I know I must learn to forgive and release this pain to you. Father, please help me to let go of this pain in Jesus’ name.
If you have truly forgiven, plead the blood of Jesus to purge out bitterness, unforgiveness, hatred, etc. When memories of past wrongs come to your mind, plead the blood of Jesus. When your heart is free of evil, fill it with all that is good, true, lovely, of good report, praise worthy and pure (Philippians 4:8). Note that your words must reflect the new state of your heart. Speak good of your spouse, encourage and praise him/her. Even if he/she is not automatically transformed, keep speaking until you see a change. Let your actions correspond with your thoughts and speech. Also, let your countenance mirror your heart and healing will come to your home. I see God doing a new thing in your home right now in Jesus’ name!
Friends, the grace to forgive is the preserve of the redeemed. You are redeemed by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. If you are set for it, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).