Greetings in the precious Name of our Lord, Jesus Christ. You are specially welcome to God’s presence in Jesus’ name. Last time, we saw the place of forgiveness and that we are not perfect people; we can make mistakes.
In this segment, I will be showing you the steps to take in making things right. There’s a proverb that says, “Tall oaks from little acorns grow.” The problems in marriages that have grown so big and tall started as tiny seeds. To solve some of these problems, you must trace them to their roots, and find out how and where you missed it. When this is done, you must accept responsibility for your actions, reactions and admit these to God in prayer. Don’t shift blame because if you do, you are trying to exonerate yourself and restoration cannot come. The first step to take is:
Begin at the beginning
Go back to your original vow to remain married for the rest of your lives. The way to renew a marriage doesn’t begin with a change of emotions, but with an act of will. The restoration of joy and fulfilment is brought about by holding on to our promises.
Let go of past hurts
As Philippians 3:13-14 says: …Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal… In this case, let your goal be a mutually satisfying union. Begin to appreciate your spouse for who he/she is (among other things, trustworthy and responsible). Before you know it, you will begin to see a new spouse.
Think right about your spouse, even if he or she offends you. God’s Word says: For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts… (Mark 7:21). One thing my husband does, which I have learnt from him, is to make excuses for the people who offend him. He says, “Maybe it’s the best he knows to do.” Learn to make allowances for other people’s mistakes. Even if the offence is deliberate, let God be the judge (Psalm 94:1).
You can guard your tongue from hurting your partner by choosing your words carefully and speaking wisely (Proverbs 25:11). If you have offended your partner, saying “I am sorry” from the depth of your heart is not too much. You must have the habit of apologizing and owning up when you are wrong. One major way to speak right is to be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to wrath.
Dare to believe God for the best in your relationship with your spouse
Paul reminds us in Ephesians 3:20-21 that God is able to do superabundantly, far over and above all that we [dare] ask or think—infinitely beyond our highest prayers, desires, thoughts, hopes or dreams (Amplified). That promise is true for marriages—even when only one partner is willing to change. Instead of bemoaning a marriage mistake, you can relinquish your ideas of what makes a satisfying marriage and ask God to give you a good heart towards your spouse.
There is good in your marriage, but it will take wilful obedience to access it. Any step you take in obedience to God’s Word will always guarantee a reward. A sister shared this very amazing testimony, to show that obedience to God’s Word has rewards.
“I’ve been married for over 12 years but I never enjoyed my marriage. In March 1995, I attended the Family Renewal seminar and Pastor (Mrs) Faith Oyedepo preached that day. She emphasized on wives being submissive to their husbands in everything, just like the Church submits to Christ. She also said we were to be submissive in everything. I didn’t realize that I wasn’t totally submissive to my husband. I wept so much in church that day and went to the Lord, saying, ‘Lord, from this day, I know that obedience is the key.’ Since then, I’ve been enjoying what all my prayer and fasting couldn’t deliver to me. Meanwhile, I had prayed to God and fasted many times to make my husband to love me. To the glory of God, now, it’s like I’m wedded anew. The Lord turned the tide, just through my obedience to the Word. Now, I’m enjoying what I had never enjoyed since I got married.
To confirm God’s faithfulness in my home, yesterday morning, my husband gave me a cheque of one hundred thousand naira, which I cashed this morning. Presently, I enjoy peace, love and harmony.”
– Adebayo, L.
It’s your turn for a testimony! Be blessed!
The starting point to enjoying the good in your marriage is to invite Jesus into your home. This invitation begins with a simple prayer said with faith in your heart. If you would like to do that, please pray this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).