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SPINSTERHOOD AND FAMILY PRESSURE

Hello Reader,

 

It is a new month with God’s awesomeness! You are most welcome to this column. This month, I shall be bringing to you a teaching I have captioned, Spinsterhood and Family Pressure. I shall start by defining some terms:

 

Who is a Spinster?

The American Heritage Dictionary defines a spinster as: A woman who has remained single beyond the conventional age for marrying or a single woman. Spinsterhood is a condition whereby a woman remains single beyond the conventional age for marriage.

 

Pressure

The American Heritage Dictionary defines Pressure as: A compelling or constraining influence, such as a moral force, on the mind or will. Therefore, family pressure on a spinster can be said to be a compelling influence on the mind or will of a spinster to get married, as a result of her having passed the conventional age for marriage.
Spinsterhood could be by choice. Whatever the reason, the Word of God says in Genesis 2:18: And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

If you are single now and people think you have passed the conventional age of marriage, it could be so in the eyes of the people of the world, but there is good news for you, God says concerning you: …None shall want her mate: (Isaiah 34:16). This means that He has made you a particular man’s helpmeet. So, rejoice because delay is not denial.

 

Why Family Pressure during Spinsterhood?

Many families and most people in the society see it as a shame for a marriageable single that is advanced in age, to remain unmarried. Some parents at this time, start comparing themselves with their mates, who are already grandparents. Some become apprehensive, wanting to see their grand children and have in-laws. So, they start laying pressure on their unmarried adult children. This situation can create a lot of discomfort for these singles.

Some parents see their children who are spinsters as burdens; therefore, they put pressure on them to get married. Due to such pressure, some older singles especially the ladies weep all night and live a life of discomfort.  Some see themselves as failures and find it difficult to believe they could ever make it in life.

What to Avoid during this Period!

Eagerness

This fear, real or imagined, moves them to make hasty choices, without considering the long term effect. Watch out for these: Intense pre-occupation with wanting to get married, emotional inconsistency, no interest in spiritual matters, withdrawing from friends, family etc.

The Bible says: …He that believeth shall not make haste (Isaiah 28:16). In other words, haste is associated with unbelief. Beware! Don’t because of eagerness lose your colourful destiny. Trust God to bring to pass His will concerning you, at His own time and concentrate on the positive things of life.

Worry

One major pitfall that you must beware of as an older single, is worry. Worry always makes you sorry. When you feel sorry for yourself, you end up with sorrow which of course leads to a broken heart. You have only one heart, why must you allow sorrow to break it for you?

Worry ties you to your past and as long as you are tied to your past, you remain stagnated. Not only that, you cannot move forward. As long as you are not moving forward, you never reach unto your great tomorrow!  Jesus said: Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature? (Matthew 6:27). If you cannot, then it is not wise to get worried. From today, I see every worry in your life come to an end!

Anger

This is another danger spot that older singles must beware of. Anger comes out of a feeling of displeasure. When you are displeased about something, you get angry which degenerates into wrath.

Some older singles get angry when their mates get married. Others even get angry at God! The truth is, if you are angry at God, who then will help you? Really, anger puts you farther away from God and thereby farther from your miracle.

Now that you know things to avoid, I want to let you know that you cannot avoid them in the energy of the flesh, you need God guidance and help. God only helps those who will obey Him. It takes your accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour to be able to satisfy these requirements.

If you want to be born again, please say this prayer: Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me of my sins, cleanse me with Your Blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, and conselling@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Singles With A Difference, A Living Witness and Make Your Life Count.

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