I welcome you to another awesome time with God this new month. It is my prayer that as you read through, your family testimony would not be denied you in Jesus’ name! Last month, I began a teaching on the title: Marriage is Trust. I enumerated some characteristics of trust.
In this month, I will be sharing on some tools that will help us play our part in rebuilding and restoring trust in our homes.
One thing that we must always remind ourselves of is that, man is imperfect and will let us down at some point or another. However, putting our trust in God, Who remains the same (Malachi 3:6), is what makes a difference. Thank God He is there to restore and rebuild any lost time due to broken trust (Joel 2:25). Below are some of the tools that will help us in playing our part in the rebuilding and restoration process.
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1. Forgive – Forgiveness is vital for any healing process to be productive. It’s important to note that forgiveness does not excuse the wrong doing of the offender; it does not mean what they may have done is right. It simply frees you from holding on to a grudge and becoming bitter against them, which will defile and cause God’s grace to fail in your life (Hebrews 12:15).
Bitterness is poison to your system. It also ensures that nothing stops God from forgiving you (Matthew 6:14-15). We are also told in Ephesians 4:31-32: Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (NIV).
2. Rely on God – When it comes to human nature, forgiveness is tough. That is why relying on God is of utmost necessity. Even Jesus said, “I can of my own self, do nothing” (John 5:30). He acknowledged that if He was going to make it through, God’s help is a must, and the same goes for you and I. As a Christian, it may be tough to let go of the hurts caused by your spouse. However, because you know that God expects you to forgive, it is wisdom to rely on Him for the grace to do so.
There have been cases where marriage seemed absolutely irreparable, but once the offended party made up their mind to look to God for help, their attitude and disposition towards the offender became positive that people could not believe such a person had ever been offended.
Relying on God makes all the difference. It may not be easy, but when the grace is available, it becomes possible.
3. Be committed to the process – As we saw earlier, trust is a growing force. When it is broken, it must be rebuilt again, and to do so, time is required. The gravity of the offence usually determines how much time is required. However, whatever the case may be, we must remain committed to the process.
While we are told that time heals all wounds, I also like to say that commitment plays a big part in the healing process. Many have spent a lot of time in a predicament, but were not committed to it; therefore, their testimony did not come through. Whatever we cherish, we remain committed to.
For example, if an undergraduate student fails a few classes, you hardly see that student give up on earning their degree. Because they cherish the degree so much, they keep retaking the classes and remain committed to it until they get to the finish line. Commitment is what determines the beauty and colour that shows forth at the end. Don’t give up, allow patience to have it’s perfect work in you (James 1:4), and your testimony will not elude you in Jesus’ name.
Dear reader, the above list is not exhaustive, but I believe they are helpful in your journey towards maintaining and rebuilding trust in your marriage. As stated early, it is important to note that in any Christian marriage, trust cannot be built or maintained without God’s help. Therefore, if you have broken the trust in your home or you have been hurt by your spouse, you must be willing to give God room to rebuild and restore your home, while you play your part.
Whatever you do, remember that a marriage without trust is doomed, and marriage is trust!
This help can only be enjoyed, when you confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. That way, you will be saved. If you are ready to be saved, please say this prayer: Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I am a sinner. I can’t help myself. Forgive me of my sins. From today, I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You Jesus for saving me. Now, I know I am born-again.”
Congratulations! Till I come your way next time, please call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com, Tel: 08141320204; 07026385437. You can connect with me on my facebook page which is called Crisis-Proof Your Family!
For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Making Marriage Work, Building a Successful Family, Understanding Motherhood and Make Your Life Count.
You are blessed forever!