Last time, I discussed with you the first step to take in making right choices in marriage. Making right choices leads to a destination of glory and making wrong choices, leads to a wrong destination. Your choice can either be right or wrong. Whichever one, you must accept responsibility for the choices that you make. However, a close relationship with God is the beginning of making right choices in marriage. That is why, today, I will be sharing with you on God’s Pattern for Your Choice.
Marry a Christian
This is the beginning of making the right choice in marriage. Who, then, is a Christian? A Christian is a person who has committed his or her life to the Lord Jesus Christ and come under His Lordship and direction. This is very vital in making your choice in marriage. Never choose to marry an unbeliever, no matter the vision, dream or counsel. The Abrahamic covenant demands that you marry among your kinsmen only. As a believer in Christ, your kinsmen are fellow believers. You are not permitted to marry a stranger. Do not ever think that someday, he or she might be saved. It is easier for an unbeliever to make you backslide than for you to save him or her. The Word of God says: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? (2 Corinthians 6:14).
Three words stand out clearly from the above scripture: fellowship, communion and concord. Let’s briefly take a closer look at each of these words. ‘Fellowship’ means to share similar interests, ideals or experiences. ‘Concord’ means harmony or agreement of interests or feeling. ‘Communion’ means act or an instance of sharing thoughts or feelings.
These three words communicate a unique and clear message: “togetherness.” You will find that these words fellowship, communion, and concord summarise the essence of marriage. When you take these three components out of marriage, it is doomed, because marriage is a mysterious union of two different individuals who come together in a special covenant relationship. If you want your marriage to succeed, you must ensure that you marry a Christian.
A saved person and an unbeliever cannot have real fellowship, communion or concord. This is primarily because there is a fundamental difference between the character and life of one who is not saved and one who is saved. You may ask, “How do I know the difference between them?” The Word of God says: …By their fruits ye shall know them (Matthew 7:20).
There is no meeting point between a Christian and a sinner (Genesis 24:3). It is unbiblical for a Christian to marry a non-Christian. If you are going into marriage as a Christian, you must of necessity do so with someone in the same spiritual Kingdom (Amos 3:3). Abraham, the father of faith, knew so well the importance of his son marrying from among his brethren and not from just anywhere. The Word of God says: But thou shalt go unto my country, and to my kindred, and take a wife unto my son Isaac (Genesis 24:4).
There may be pressures, but no matter where the pressure is coming from, you must decide that nothing will drive you into a relationship with an unbeliever. That will be equal to building your marriage on a faulty foundation! Sooner or later, such a building will collapse like a pack of cards. Beware!
A Christian marrying a non-Christian is disobedience to God’s Word, and is equal to building on a faulty foundation. As a single Christian, if you are in that kind of relationship, it is better you put a stop to it now, so it does not stop your destiny! Your destiny shall not be aborted! Never attempt to continue the relationship, thinking you will just go to church and have the union blessed. Don’t do it or else, you will be courting trouble!
Christians must marry only Christians. It’s a simple principle, but a very powerful one. There is difference between the life of a Christian and that of an unbeliever. Both of them belong to two different Kingdoms spiritually. The wealth and position of the man or woman in question notwithstanding, except you belong to the same spiritual Kingdom, you are building your marriage and home on a faulty foundation.
Many precious people suffer because they are living with an unsaved spouse. Some did not have Christ when they made their marriage decision, but they have since found the Lord. They will have God’s grace and love to win their mates for Jesus. Some people who have the light, but choose to marry into darkness by being yoked to unsaved mates, are led away from God.
Remember, Solomon, the wisest and richest king in Israel missed it at the end of his life, because he ignored this very important and fundamental principle. Solomon’s heathen wives led him into idolatry. The Word of God says: For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, that his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the Lord his God, as was the heart of David his father (1 Kings 11:4). Don’t let a wrong choice turn your heart away from following God. You need to take caution and beware! Samson lost his eyes because of a woman, Delilah. David committed murder because of passion for Bathsheba. I believe if a marriage cannot glorify the Lord, then it would be better to remain alone. There are worse things than being alone. One of these is to be out of God’s will by compromising and marrying someone who does not feel the same way you do about the Lord.
Surrendering your life to Christ is the first choice you need to make, in order to make the right choice in marriage. Do you want to be born again? Say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Single with a Difference, A Living Witness and Make Your Life Count.