In the first edition, we began on how to maintain purity in courtship by knowing the purpose of courtship. Some people begin with being spiritual, but end up succumbing to the works of the flesh. All categories of uncleanness are referred to as the works of the flesh. Since courtship is not marriage, you have no marital rights over the other until marriage is contracted.
The Bible says: Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled (Hebrews 13:4). Marriage is an honourable thing when the bed is undefiled. Once the bed is defiled, that marriage has lost its honour. Defilement of your marital bed is the defilement of marital destiny. It takes the mercy of God to restore the honour in marriage, once it is defiled. This week’s teaching centres on Abstaining from all appearances of evil.
Temptation is not equal to sin. Falling into temptation is what is termed as sin. Jesus was tempted at all points, just as we are, yet He was without sin. The key to withstanding temptation is to fortify yourself in prayers and in taking practical steps to protect yourself from falling. Protection is very crucial to your desired future. While in courtship, there should be no room for sexual relationships or anything that leads to it. Somebody says, “But we intend to get married.” As long as you are not yet married, it is sinful for you to go into it or do anything that leads to it.
The reason why a good number of people in courtship get involve in pre-marital sex is, heavy petting that got out of control. Many who find themselves in it had no intention of having sexual intercourse, but one thing led to another. This is like the child who stood at the edge of a forest fire and says, “But I only lit a match.” That is why the Word of God says: Abstain from all appearance of evil (I Thessalonians 5:22). Another translation says that we should flee from all appearances of evil.
Don’t wait until evil comes before you flee. It starts from kisses to passionate petting and before you know what is happening, the bed is defiled. By so doing, the seed of bitterness and problems for your future home is sown. Some ladies end up with unwanted pregnancies. For some individuals, the feeling of guilt becomes a barrier to adjusting in marriage. It is like a wound, even when it is healed, still leaves a scar. That is why care has to be taken, so that when you begin in the spirit, you do not switch over to the flesh. The only way out is to keep walking in the spirit, for when you walk in the spirit, you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.
Even if one of the partners is being tempted, the other should be able to help him overcome. It takes two to defile the bed. Daniel purposed in his heart not to defile himself (and this was under the old covenant), and he was not defiled. But we are operating under a better covenant based on better promises, so it should be easier for us today to overcome temptations, than it was in the days of Daniel.
Purpose in your heart not to defile yourself and you will not be defiled. You earn respect from your partner when you marry as a virgin. Sin is deceitful; it looks sweet initially, but at the end it bites. Let your relationship before marriage be holy, that which will bring glory to God and honour to you. This is easy as you learn to walk in the spirit. In courtship, always seek the Lord uncompromisingly and He will preserve the treasures He created in your body.
With the help of the Holy Ghost, it is possible to say “No!” to premarital sex. Christian parents have a role to play in educating their children on the ills of pre-marital sex. Even the unbelieving and secular world has suddenly discovered the need for purity. It realizes that condom is limited in its ability to prevent sexually transmitted diseases, so it has taken to the streets crying out to the young to say “No!” to pre-marital sex. The miseries of abortion and promiscuity can be avoided if purity is maintained.
However, it takes a walk in the Spirit and the help of the Holy Spirit to maintain purity in courtship. To walk in the Spirit, you have to be born of the Spirit by accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour – born again. If you want to be born again and enjoy the help of the Holy Spirit, say this prayer in faith: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through email@example.com; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Single with a Difference, A Living Witness and Make Your Life Count.