It is rather disturbing to me when I hear people say that a husband and wife must argue, fight, fuss, quarrel, and whatever you may call it, in their marriage! I have always wondered where such a demonic mindset came from. God, who created marriage, has already given us a guide as to how we must conduct ourselves in our marriages to see the best out of it. Yet, here we are on earth, coming up with our own theories, just because we don’t have the patience to do it as He has prescribed.
You can’t redefine a product for a manufacturer; if I decide to use a smoothie maker to boil water (I have never tried that), and the water boils, it doesn’t change the original purpose of the product. I used to believe that chaos, strife, confusion, etc. were a normal part of marriage until I first heard otherwise from my husband. Then I began to think, if I can control myself and be civil with co-workers, strangers, and others around me even when we may have different opinions over a subject matter, even when I am offended, even when I feel hurt, why can’t I do much more when it comes to my husband? Just because it’s not a reality in one persons marriage does not make it impossible. God has said two are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4:9) and He cannot lie (Hebrews 6:18), so it must be my reality.
Just because you may have differences of opinion on some things, does not mean it must turn into a battle field where hurtful words are exchanged, and foolish statements are made: you are tearing down your house all by yourself. Sit down and talk about it! I tell the truth and I lie not, I have never ever found myself arguing or raising my voice at my husband or vice versa and this has been from the very beginning of our relationship (courtship), and I am so convinced that such a day can NEVER come. Not because opportunities are not there but because from day one, we have been using the Word of God as our guide and till today, when we are privileged to counsel or hear of the marital crises of others, we thank God for the grace He has given us to live in genuine peace thus far.
I have a practice, when people try to sway me concerning having a peaceful family life, I always say, “let God be true and let all men be liars” (Romans 3:4). My counsel to you today is this – stop listening to anything contrary to what God has said, they are all lies!! You may be married, or you may be single; if you ever find yourself in a challenging situation, the answer is with God; He is the best person to lead you aright with His manual. Don’t allow yourself make the same statements that others are making concerning marriage. Purpose in your heart that what God has said, will be your experience and be willing to do your part to make it a reality!
The truth is that God has given us all things, including marriage, richly to enjoy (1 Timothy 6:7)! The lie is that we have to fight, groan and moan to enjoy all things, including marriage!
To really enjoy all things and have a family life that reflects God’s glory, you must have a relationship with Him. This simply means that you must be born again and you can only do so by having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. You can do this by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. That way, you will be saved. If you are ready to be saved, please say this prayer: “Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I am a sinner. I can’t help myself. Forgive me of my sins. From today, I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You Jesus for saving me. Now, I know I am born again.”
Congratulations! I am so excited for you and look forward to your testimonies. Till I come your way next time, please call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org and email@example.com, Tel: 08141320204; 07026385437. You can connect with me on my Facebook page, which is called Crisis-Proof Your Family, and my blog – www.crisisproofyourfamilyblog.com!
For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Making Marriage Work and Marriage Covenant.
Remain ever blessed!