You are welcome to yet another exciting edition of this column. Last time, I taught you what to do when you are really set for marriage. Today, I want to discuss the place of planning when you are getting set for marriage. In planning, the following steps have to be put into consideration.
This must form one of the most vital subjects of your planning. You need to plan for where you and your newly married partner will reside after the wedding. It is a display of immaturity for a man, who does not have even a single room of his own, to begin to talk about marriage. Planning plays a vital role in determining the success of your marriage.
The Word of God says: For which of you, intending to build a tower, sitteth not down first, and counteth the cost, whether he have sufficient to finish it? (Luke 14:28). Just as lack of preparation and planning in the building of a physical house affects the building, lack of adequate planning can also affect the success of a marriage. Thus, you must have it at the back of your mind what will happen after the wedding, whether one of the parties is going to join the other partner or they will both move to a new location. There are so many couples who are undecided on what to do about this issue. As a result, even after marriage, they still live as though they are unmarried. Some parents will even want their children, who are married to stay in their own houses. This is not proper, as it would affect the building of a successful marriage.
Finance is another vital issue that needs to be discussed and settled, while planning for marriage. It is safer for you to agree with your partner on whether to operate a separate or a joint account.
At this point, I would like to state that there are three most sensitive areas in marriage. They include: communication, sex and money. If you can successfully handle these three aspects in your marriage, the enemy will not be able to operate in your home. Finance is one of the most sensitive issues that cause problems in many marriages today. One of the best ways to avoid this problem is to agree on what kind of account to operate before getting married. Money is an important issue in the home. Right from the time of Adam, the man (the husband) has been tagged the breadwinner of the home. The Word of God says: The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to WORK it and take care of it (Genesis 2:15).
The responsibility of the man is to be the breadwinner of the home. He is expected to work in order to feed his family. Men, your financial responsibilities as the head, are to work and earn money to feed your family members (1 Timothy 5:8). There is need to set aside for the month, week or day –whichever is convenient for you, the money for provisions to be purchased in the home. One main responsibility of men is to ensure that his wife and children are well catered for, before any other need is sorted out.
As a wife or mother, there should be no “his” or “hers” in family finances. God’s ultimate desire is that both parties – husband and wife, should have access to each other’s money. God Word says: …She bringeth her food from afar (Proverbs 31:14). She doesn’t have to totally rely on her husband but makes her own contribution by the grace and giftings of God on her life to the family’s upkeep. Whether you have a job or not, you can always contribute financially or otherwise to the family welfare.
This is another very important aspect of planning when you are getting set for marriage. It is inappropriate to get married before you begin to consider the number of children you want to have. When you and your partner present your reasons for your decision, it becomes easier for both of you to arrive at an amiable conclusion. There are cases where after marriage, one of the partners wants to have as many children as possible, while the other does not. Such issue can cause a big problem in marriage. It is, therefore, important to carefully plan and come to a conclusion on the number of children you want to have and are able to cater for.
This is an issue that must be sorted out ever before you get into marriage. You have to share your vision with your partner. Vision is the unfolding of God’s plan for your life. It is important for both partner to discover their God-given goal for his or her future and how to arrive at their destinations. To know your God-given goal and vision, you need to ask God in prayer.
To be able to plan properly for your marriage, you need to first and foremost accept Christ as your Lord and Saviour. That is what it means to be born again. Thereafter, you will be given all it takes to plan and experience a successful marriage. Are you ready to be born again? If you are, say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through email@example.com; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Single with a Difference, A Living Witness and Make Your Life Count.