I am sure you received some helpful truths on getting into marriage, especially for those who will be getting married this year. If you are trusting God to be married this year, the good news is that your case is already settled. I want you to know that God has enlisted you among the couples of the year, not minding the month in which we are. So relax! Having had the assurance that your case is settled, you need to know some requirements for making your choice of a marriage partner.
The requirement for Choosing
There are some things that need to be considered in choosing a marriage partner. They are as follows:-
In choosing a marriage partner, never choose to marry an unbeliever, no matter the vision, dream or counsel. The Abrahamic covenant demands that you marry among your kinsmen only. As a believer, your kinsmen are fellow believers. You are not permitted to marry a stranger. Do not even think that someday he or she might be saved. It is easier for an unbeliever to make you backslide, than for you to save him/her. You must ensure that such person is BORN AGAIN. The Word of God says: Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people (II Corinthians 6:14). The Christian is referred to as light while the unbeliever is referred to as darkness. There is no way light and darkness can stay in the same place at the same time. If light and darkness cannot dwell together, how do you think a Christian and an unbeliever can go into marriage together and expect success? The unbeliever is definitely out of the way when considering a marriage partner. You don’t even need to pray about it.
Some people conclude that since they have waited for so long and have not gotten the right person to marry, they are ready to marry whoever comes, even an unbeliever. Such people have forgotten that how long they have waited is not as important as the success of their marriage. For instance, someone who is about 30 years of age before marriage and may probably live up to 90 years on earth. If such person rushes into marriage with an unbeliever, it implies that he has 60 years to live with that unbeliever. The journey before him (after marriage) is longer than the one he has gone through. There is, therefore, no need to rush into a thing that will not last. Remember, God cannot forget you because He cares for you. Wait for His time!
Secondly, anyone you choose to be your marriage partner must be one you are compatible with. Can two walk together, except they be agreed? (Amos 3:3). Your decision on who to marry should not be based on dreams either. Marriage must be based on agreement—“Do we have the same goals?” “Are we going in the same direction?” God will never lead you to someone that you will always disagree with. If God says two cannot walk together except they be agreed, He will never ask you to marry someone you cannot agree with. Man is in three dimensions: he is a spirit, has a soul; and lives in all spheres.
It is important that the person you desire to spend the rest of your life with matches your expectation in appearance and composure. This, however, must not be neglected, but it is important to choose someone you will be happy to be identified with; not someone you feel ashamed to be seen with.
There is really no point pretending that this area is of little consequence, it is important. In the natural, it is said that water seeks its own level; so it is essential for one to choose someone they appreciate mentally because everyone is different in various aspect of life Moreover, our tastes also differs.
While choosing a partner, it should be for the purpose of marriage. Some people, even Christians are fond of choosing for ulterior motives, not because they want to get married to such individuals. It is amazing that some people for instance, do that to get money, positions, etc, and by the time they have fulfilled their lusts and desires, they end the relationship. This is inordinate affection. Choosing should be for the purpose of marriage. ‘Inordinate’ simply means “beyond proper or normal limits.” It is improper to speak to someone about a relationship when you know that marriage is not in-view. As believers in Jesus Christ, we must flee youthful lusts (II Timothy 2:22), and one way of doing this is to keep oneself from every relationship that doesn’t have marriage as its target.
In God’s concept, marriage is for men and women; not for boys and girls. And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh (Genesis 2:22 & 24). Take particular note of these words ‘man’ and ‘woman’ in the above passages among many others. Maturity – spiritually, physically, emotionally and otherwise, is required before marriage. Maturity can be determined from two viewpoints: age and ability to handle life situations. These two help in determining how matured an individual is. One who is mature for marriage should be able to assume responsibility for his or her actions, and take up the welfare of his/her spouse and children. If you are not mature to be a parent, then you are not mature enough for marriage. Adulthood is a basic requirement for success in marriage.
Do you want to allow God to come into your life today, so you can have a relationship with Him and be able to recognize His divine will for your life, and have a successful marriage? Why not say this prayer of faith: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”
Congratulations, you are now born again! I believe that you will begin to experience the reality of the price that Jesus paid for your sins at Calvary. All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through email@example.com; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Single with a Difference, A Living Witness and Make Your Life Count.