+234 (0) 81 4132 0204 | +234 (0) 70 2638 5437




From Leaving to Cleaving

There can be no cleaving without leaving! Marriage begins with leaving (father, mother, etc.) and must continues with cleaving if both people intend to have an enjoyable experience in it – Matthew 19:5, Mark 10:7, Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31. To cleave means to be joined to, to mix together, to be engrafted, etc. One definition I saw which stuck out to me is – sticking to something like glue! It sounds funny but I actually thought that was perhaps the most vivid definition yet. When glue is used on any material, the intention is to make it join it to something else forever. We are not expecting that it should separate again. And if it does, we look for something stronger to use. That’s exactly how God expects a husband and wife to be; he calls it ‘One Flesh’.

The truth is that sometimes couples actually leave but don’t cleave to each other. At other times, they don’t even leave at all and therein is the challenge. If as a husband, you are still tied to your parent’s apron strings, or you’re a wife who wants to remain independent and unaccountable to anybody, you know what I’m talking about and you need to apply wisdom. Any husband or wife who does not fully join his or herself to their spouse is setting their family life up for crisis. No marriage can fulfill God’s intentions that way. No cleaving can take place without leaving and without really joining yourself to your spouse – spirit, soul and body.

Too many couples live completely separate lives; in fact people outside their home know more about them and what they are doing than their spouse. I agree that marriage is a growing process but please understand that the ‘one flesh’ mentality actually begins from your heart and then shows in your actions, etc.  So don’t be double minded – still focusing on those outside while trying to build your home with your spouse. Begin to see your spouse, as a much needed companion in your life. Don’t make them feel replaceable. You have to come to the point whereby you are willing to work through any challenge that arise. Unfortunately, some marriages end but that has nothing to do with you. Focus on yours and make sure you do EVERYTHING you can to make it work (If you feel like you have, and you are not seeing desirable results, please seek godly counseling)!

I often say that your spouse is your advantage from God; build an enjoyable and desirable home with them. In fact, the purpose of leaving is actually to cleave; if you are not cleaving to your spouse, you probably never left in the first place. I’ll take it further from that definition and say that any marriage that will work well requires the husband and wife to come to the point that they are stuck together not just like glue, but more like super glue! Or anything stronger! As you do your part, may the Word of God keep working for you!

The power to leave and to cleave to your spouse can only be found in Christ. This simply means that you must be born again and you can only do so by having a personal relationship with Him. You can do this by confessing your sins and accepting Jesus as your Lord and Saviour. That way, you will be saved. If you are ready to be saved, please say this prayer: “Lord Jesus, I come to You today. I am a sinner. I can’t help myself. Forgive me of my sins. From today, I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Thank You Jesus for saving me. Now, I know I am born again.”

Congratulations! I am so excited for you and look forward to your testimonies. Till I come your way next time, please call or write to share your testimonies with me through cpyfamily@yahoo.com and contact@faithoyedepo.org, Tel: 08141320204; 07026385437.  You can connect with me on my Facebook page, called Crisis-Proof Your Family, and my blog – www.crisisproofyourfamilyblog.com !

For more insight, these books authored by Pastor Faith Oyedepo are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Building a Successful Family, Making Marriage Work and Marriage Covenant.

Remain ever blessed!

Kemi Oyedepo


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

[sp-form formid=1580]