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CHRISTIAN COURTSHIP TIPS

Dear Reader,

You are most welcome to this edition of Youth and Singles. I also welcome you to a great month and  pray that all God has packaged for you this month will not elude you! Also, I believe that you have been putting to practice all I have discussed with you in previous editions and you are having a wonderful time living your life as ordained by God. Indeed, your youthful days will be fully maximized!

In this edition, I shall be teaching on Christian Courtship Tips and I will focus on how to make the most of your courtship period, in preparing for a successful marriage.

 

What is Courtship?


Courtship is the period between when two people formerly agree to get married, and when they are actually joined in holy matrimony. It is a time when you both learn to discover God together. It is also a period when you are left with the responsibility of finding out, with all sincerity, if you truly agree (Amos 3:3).

When I refer to agreement, it entails finding out what both of you have in common and if you have a common vision. This can only be achieved spiritually, because it is what you command in the spiritual that affects what you see physically.

Before I got married, my husband discovered from the Word, seven pillars for a successful marriage that contributed to the success in our family life. Our marriage is a testimony of God’s goodness, faithfulness, love and power, from day one till now.

Similarly, both of you can pray, fast and gather knowledge from the Word, concerning His promises and commandments needed for a successful family life. Yours may not exactly be seven pillars, but there must be something strong in God’s Word that will command His presence so easily in your future home. One of God’s promises you can bank on, concerning marriage, is found in Proverbs 18: 22 which says: Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.

          This means that, you should be at your best when you are married because marriage promotes and rewards financially, spiritually, mentally and all-round.  It also means that being married opens you up to favour with God, which commands all-round favour. All you need to do is to call forth your desires with your own mouth.

Also, courtship is a time for good preparation and planning on what, where, when and how you want your home to be run. Planning at this period plays an important role in determining the success of the home in view.  A good home does not drop from heaven; it is built and good buildings require good planning (Luke 14:28-32).

Furthermore, the length of time in courtship is very important. Though there are no scriptural references that say exactly how long courtship should be, but Wisdom is profitable to direct. Since marriage is a lifetime affair and not a thing to be rushed into, it is important for you to be sure you know each other well enough.

Though courtship is not based on how long, but how well, the period should be reasonably long enough for both of you to really know each other, so you can have a blissful life together.

My husband and I courted for six years and its effect is speaking now. It gave me ample time to know about him, his ministry and what to expect in the future. However, you cannot know someone completely, no matter how long you court, but the longer, the better.  If you court for only a week or less, then, you will need God’s special grace in your marriage because, knowing each other will last almost a lifetime. While learning about each other takes time, you are better off when you know quite a lot about someone. A reasonable length of courtship period is a necessity you cannot afford to overlook.

Do not rush into marriage; spend some time to look before you leap.  Many have rushed into marriage, only to discover the true identity of the person they are living with, at a time that was too late.

A lady once informed me of her marriage intentions. I wanted to ask her a few questions, so, I booked an appointment with her. It happened that the appointment could not hold, and the next time I met her, she was already married. The look on her face showed that she needed help. I later discovered that the man she married had been living outside the country for many years and just returned, so they did not really know each other. She, of course was in a hurry to get married so she could travel with him.

While there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to travel with her husband after marriage, there is everything wrong in wanting to marry a man just because you want to go outside the country with him. The man I guess, knowing his spiritual limitations, tried to delay the marriage, but she succeeded in convincing him since she was ready to shoulder all the expenses. As soon as the marriage was conducted, she discovered the real nature of the man she had married and wanted to quit, but God would not permit.

The benefits of knowing your partner long enough are innumerable. They include all-round maturity-spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc. This is because of the increased level of understanding both of you will have, from knowing each other for long.  You will enjoy the benefit of knowing the peculiar characteristics, likes, dislikes, other various weaknesses of each other and how to handle them (Genesis 5:22-23).  Also, you will be able to conclude better, on decisions such as the location, finance, number of children, vision and other plans that are important foundation for your future home.

Finally, God knows all and sees every man’s heart. When you accept Him, He will help to reveal the true identity of your partner to you, irrespective of any kind of pretense. To accept Him, you have to confess Jesus Christ as your Lord and become born again.

If you will like to do this, please say this prayer. Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner.  I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day.  Forgive me of my sins.  I accept you as my Lord and Saviour.  Make me a child of God today”.

Congratulations! You are now born-again! All round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, and counselling@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

COMMENTS

  • Bennett Essien 25-01-2016

    Dear Mummy,
    Please is it possible to get the content of the document agreement you and Daddy signed called “sailing under sealed orders”?
    i would something of that nature for I and my intended spouse to agree on.
    Thank you ma.

    • admin 25-02-2016

      Dear Bennett,
      Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the name of Jesus Christ!
      You can get the full content of the letter “Sailing under sealed orders” from the back page of my book The Effective Minister’s Wife I hope it suits your purpose.
      Remain Blessed!
      Faith A. Oyedepo

  • sis. johanna sheriff 08-07-2015

    mama what were the seven pillars that papa found in God’s word

    • admin 08-07-2015

      Dear Johanna,
      Grace and Peace be multiplied to you in the name of Jesus Christ. To answer your question, you should go through the book: Success in Marriage co-authored by Dr. David Oyedepo and I. There is a chapter that presents the answer to your question.
      Remain Blessed!
      Faith A. Oyedepo

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