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It is another wonderful time in God’s presence! I give God all the glory for the privilege to bring God’s Word your way in this second segment.

I started this teaching by explaining to you two points for attracting the right person in marriage.

Today, I want to teach on two more points for attracting the right person in marriage.

  1. Personality Development

As you go on in life, there is a need as a single man or woman to constantly appraise yourself, and to keep adding to yourself so as not to become obsolete and rusty. You need to grow in grace to the extent that it will be clear, measurable and evident that you are getting better. That is the only way forward.

You must keep learning and improving on your actions, reactions and response which all take root from your personality. The Word of God says: But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:18). Stagnation is not the will of God. As believers in Christ, you need to keep on improving yourself even as singles. You don’t wait until you are married, before you can develop yourself.

What is personality? It is the sum total of who you are, the qualities which make you different from another person.

What is Development? It is a gradual growth, positive change and becoming better.

Personality development therefore, means building up oneself, getting better and updating oneself continually.

They say water finds its own level. For instance, if you desire a pastor as a husband, you must build yourself up in the things of God. If you desire a financial pillar for the Church of Christ as a partner, you must build yourself up as a worthy complement. Your single days are an opportunity to exhibit the qualities you want in your future spouse.

Remember, God’s Word says: Every good and perfect gift (James 1:17), God has only good and perfect gifts. So, make yourself a good thing for God to give to that child of His looking for a good husband or good wife. Begin to search the scriptures and other Bible related-materials, to know what you are expected to do so as to make happen what you desire for your family. Good husbands and wives are not born, they are made.

God wants you to make the best use of your single days, so that you can live your life to the fullest, and be able to enjoy your future family. So, work at it!

You need to develop new skills. Use your time productively in developing new skills. While single, there is opportunity to develop new skills without additional financial responsibilities that a family generates. It’s a time to get the right purpose for living and the right career to follow. Recently, a brother that I counselled testified saying, “Thank you for that advice that has done great things in my life. I gained admission to study architecture in Lagos State Polytechnic. It was a dream come true. Like what you said, it has really affected my social life, it has added more colour to my testimonies. Also, it is the right course of study as a career for me.”

You cannot amount to anything in life without pursuing a purpose for living. It’s not too late. Wake up and get going.

  1. Hospitality

Hospitality simply means a welcome, friendly and a generous reception and entertainment of guests or strangers, especially in one’s home.

Ladies, mothers and women should take note of this; it is very important. If you are irritable, untouchable or you are the type that cannot accommodate people and be a blessing to others in your home, you are not being hospitable. Hospitality can be seen in your actions, attitude and the way you address people. A bad look at visitors can tell them if they are welcome or not.

As single men and women, it is important you allow hospitality to be part and parcel of your life. Being hospitable is very important in marriage. Single persons who are hospitable, will certainly welcome their life partners without knowing. As single ladies, single men, how hospitable are you? Are you the type that whenever you see somebody coming to your home, you frown, and to welcome the stranger becomes a problem. If this is your character, it is important you put it off before you go into marriage. Rebecca is a perfect example of the hospitality I’m talking about. The Word of God says: And let it come to pass, that the damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master (Genesis 24:14).

Rebecca only went to draw water, little did she know that she was going to attract anybody for marriage. She never knew that Abraham’s servant’s mission was to come to look for a suitable wife for his master’s son.

No matter how hospitable a man may be, if his wife is not hospitable, it will affect him negatively because the woman will, most of the times, be the one to receive visitors. Abraham’s family was a very good example of a home of hospitality (Genesis 18:1-10). Hospitality terminated barrenness in the life of Abraham and Sarah.

The Bible also recorded the account of the Shunamite woman, who gave in to hospitality and God gave her a child of her own. The Word of God says: And she said unto her husband, Behold now, I perceive that this is an holy man of God, which passeth by us continually. Let us make a little chamber, I pray thee, on the wall; and let us set for him there a bed, and a table, and a stool, and a candlestick: and it shall be, when he cometh to us that he shall turn in thither (2 Kings 4:9-10).

As a single lady, can you attract a life partner by your hospitality? Some ladies find it difficult to even open their mouth to greet, not to talk of giving water to someone to drink. You may not know who is watching you to know whether you are suitable to be married or not. Abraham and Sarah, for instance, entertained angels. They both made the visitors to feel welcomed, relaxed and refreshed. By their hospitality, they received their son Isaac! As a single person, do you desire a sweet marriage that is full of the presence of God? Then practise hospitality.

To practise hospitality, you need to be tolerant. You must learn how to tolerate people. You must also be kind to people, no matter who they are. Learn to help people when the need arises. Learn to humble yourself and accept others the way they are. Bring yourself to other people’s level, if God has lifted you up. You don’t need to be selfish. Always think about others. Put self off your life so that you can be of help to people. Be willing to accept and accommodate people.

As you take time to practice the principles of this teaching, you shall not lose your reward. I see you fulfill the purpose of God for your marital destiny in Jesus’ name!

To develop yourself and practice hospitality, you need to first and foremost develop yourself with God. The Word of God says: But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day (Proverbs 4:18). For your part to shine and keep on shinning, you need God. If you are already born again I see your part shining more and more today. If you are not born again, why not say this prayer of faith: “Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today, I am a sinner. I cannot help myself. Forgive me of my sins, cleanse me with Your blood. Deliver me from sin and satan to serve the living God. I believe You died for me and on the third day, You rose that I might be justified. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your kingdom.”

Congratulations! You are now born again! All round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name.

Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, and conselling@faithoyedepo.org;

OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores:

  • Singles With A Difference
  • A Living Witness
  • Make Your Life Count.


  • Uhegbu Uche 04-05-2015

    This is work! God help me…

  • Leslie K. Chiko 21-04-2015

    Really eye opening! Thank you!

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