It is another wonderful time in God’s presence! I give God all the glory for the privilege to bring God’s Word your way. It has been a most informative and exciting year, examining some very fundamental and most vital issues that relate to Youth and Singles.
In this edition, I shall be teaching on the topic: A PARTNER FOR LIFE. I will be looking at ways to personally prepare to be a life partner to someone, and qualities to look out for in a life partner.
Generally, we spend a whole lot of money and time (years) preparing and learning how to be successful in business, vocations and careers, etc., yet we pay very little attention to preparing for marriage that will last a lifetime.
The act of staying married takes a lot of preparation and this begins with the individuals involved. It is important for you to prepare yourself by setting up boundaries and establishing your principles for living. This should be based on your understanding of scriptures, through the help of the Holy Spirit.
These principles and boundaries include, your values, convictions, limits etc., so that when you eventually get connected to a potential marriage partner, you have everything well laid out and you won’t be swinging like a pendulum, trying to live by the other person’s standards, especially if they are wrong.
Therefore, to prepare adequately for married life, it is important for you to:
What is your vision for life? What is your goal? Where are you heading? You need a proper understanding of this, before you can start looking for a marriage partner. This information will determine how and who you choose.
Be the best you can be and enhance your worth. This you can do by growing in grace spiritually, and drawing closer to God daily via the study of His Word. Also, you should commune with Him regularly in prayer. This will sharpen your discernment, and also make you fervent enough to build a God-honouring home tomorrow.
Marriage, by its very nature involves a lot of building and your spiritual stamina will contribute, in no small measure, to your ability to build wisely.
Mentally, develop yourself greatly in your chosen field of endeavour or career. Create and embrace opportunities to better yourself, so you will be an asset to your spouse tomorrow and not a liability.
Emotionally, develop yourself and your capacity to accommodate another person unconditionally, for the rest of your life. Marriage involves giving, not just receiving. Therefore, you need to learn in your single days to be tolerant and to handle issues with your emotions under control.
Also, you need to be physically fit for married life. As a lady, learn how to keep a house, cook and generally manage a home. As a man, learn how to be responsible and to take care of someone else, apart from yourself.
This you do by, gathering information from credible sources, not from negative examples around you. Study the Bible, the primary text on the subject of marriage. Study materials (books, tapes, magazines) by those with not just knowledge of the subject, but also proven testimonies in their marriages. The main difference between a marriage that is working and one that is not, is knowledge (Daniel 11:32; 1 Peter 3:7). Study and understand God’s provisions for the family, how to run a home, how to relate with in-laws, etc. Also study the biographies of successful couples.
However, there are qualities to look out for, before you agree to marry a person. These should be majorly spiritual things, rather than the physical such as looks, physique and material possessions, which may not last or guarantee a happy tomorrow. Some of these qualities include:
– Your partner’s spiritual state (2 Corinthians 6:14).
– You spiritual convictions e.g. Holy Ghost baptism etc.
– There should be similarities in interests, values, education, blood and genotype compatibility, etc.
– Your partner’s emotional stability.
– Readiness to make commitments.
– Ability to adapt and be flexible (to change and differences).
– Sensitivity to others’ hurts and needs.
– You should have respect for others’ perspectives.
– Your ability and willingness to communicate.
– Is your partner gainfully employed (or at least strong prospects of such especially for the guy)?
– Independence from the control and influence of family and friends.
– Positive and secured self-image.
To put it more succinctly, don’t marry a stranger! Marry your friend, someone whose personality you have grown to truly appreciate. This, you will agree with me, takes time and conscious effort.
The Holy Spirit is an indispensable help in matters of this nature. He alone knows a man’s true nature and He is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. So, engage His help.
In case you are not yet born again, you do not have access to this invaluable gift of the Holy Spirit. If you will like to accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour, please say this prayer: “Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day. Forgive me of my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today.”
Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, and email@example.com; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian Bookstores: Singles With A Difference, Marriage Covenant, Make Your Life Count and Success in Marriage (Co-authored).